Armor

"Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you."
-Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones


I recently started watching Game of Thrones which is an absolutely phenomenal TV show...and even better book series. It's a complicated and well written story and is so deep and layered...which makes it so much fun to pick apart and analyze.

But that quote stuck out to me. And not just because I have an obsession with quotes.

(well maybe that's part of it)

When I was growing up I wanted so much to be "cool." I wanted to be the popular girl with the newest clothes and who was the prettiest person in the class. I wanted the latest fashions...I wanted to be IT. I tried to be friends with "those" people.

But it's really hard to be in that group of people when you'd rather sit around reading or watching Star Wars instead of going to the local pre-teen dance club (yes. we actually had one).

I was a nerd. A geek. And have been since a very early age...my Dad will tell you stories about me "conducting" the music to Star Trek: The Next Generation at the age of 2 if you ask him.

But up until 6th grade, I didn't want to be. I wanted to be one of the "popular kids" because they were the people who had it all. They had all the friends. They had all the fun...or so it seemed.

And then the summer after 5th grade Allie and I became friends and suddenly...being a nerd was awesome because I finally had someone to share it with. It was cool.

There were times in high school when I remember some of the "popular" people calling me a nerd and calling me weird for being...well...ME. But I learned to begin embracing it. Words that once hurt and would have made me lash out began to give me a sense of pride. Allie and I dressed up as pirates for career day. We wrote about our obsessions over TV shows and we discussed Star Wars and Star Trek at length. We brought Star Wars Trivial Pursuit to school to show the rest of our friends that we knew more about Star Wars than they did.

Now look at me. Still as nerdy as ever. But with friends who appreciate it and value me for it. Friends who laugh when I make jokes or veiled references to nerdy things. I'm in an awesome job in an awesome career field.

I've learned to embrace the term. If I call myself a nerd, then no one else can...because clearly they can't hurt me with it.

Being this way got me through so much in life. It's made me tougher and it has become my armor.

And so long as it is...it can't hurt me anymore.

And you know what? It makes me cool.