Something Unpredictable

"Another turning point, the fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right
I hope you have the time of your life."
Green Day, Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

If ever there was a song to sum up my past four semesters, it would be that one.

I had a realization last night that this really is the beginning of the end of my grad school experience. As students left the classroom after I finished teaching my final workshop ever as a grad...I couldn't help but have a bittersweet feeling in my heart. Teaching Leadership In Student Affairs (LISA...the workshop we use to teach RA candidates before we recommend them for hire) has been a joy. I get to watch students grow and have learning moments as they realize how things can affect their future floor communities and how their actions would impact a potential staff. Watching these students complete their "View of Multicultural Experience" projects and seeing how they stepped outside of their comfort zones in order to better understand a group of people who are different than them resulted in me getting to read some of the most fantastic papers I have ever read. These students truly grow in the seven weeks we get to teach them...and in those seven weeks I get to know them as leaders and as people. I love it.

But now it's over.

Two years of grad school have seriously flown by so much faster than I thought they would. I am a completely different person today than I was two years ago. When I interviewed for this assistantship...I thought I was ready to do this job and do grad school.

I was so wrong.

But in being wrong...I got the chance to grow. I'm a better supervisor, better hall director, better student, better friend, and better person than I was two years ago.

Yesterday I had a meeting with one of my RAs...and I realized how much BETTER I am at this job than I was last year. Last year I burned out...trying to do too much and not realizing my limits. This year I'm better at listening, I'm better at advising, and I'm better at being the person my staff wants to come to when they need help.

Two years changed me. And realizing that this is all about to be over...is a scary thought...in a good way. Because I was scared going into this experience...and look what it did for me. It's been the most amazing thing that ever could have happened to me.

Last night my friends and I had what will probably be the first of many "farewell" dinners. As I mentioned on Sunday, one of my friends is leaving for a job in Nebraska. We're all so excited for him because he's the first of our group to get the coveted "big boy/girl job"...but at the same time it's sad because he's leaving. He's not going to walk with us at graduation and he's not going to be around anymore. It's another reminder that we're all getting ready to move on.

This experience has been amazing. I have friends I'll never forget from Kent. I gained a mentor within the field and have made so many connections with students and I know I have changed the lives of students.

It's a powerful feeling. And it totally outweighs any sadness I have at leaving in just over a month.

At the end of each year in Phi Mu we would play Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" and all of the seniors would gather in a circle and sing...and cry. But now as I get ready to move on to the next chapter of my life...I can reflect once more. Everything that has happened these past two years has been worth it. These memories and people will stay with me for the rest of my life.

It was something unpredictable.
In the end, it was SO right.

These two years? Have really been the time of my life.